I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I supernannyed him into submission
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
wow bdsm is so cute
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
