He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
