She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
