i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
