she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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