The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
