i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
