Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
