We won't sleep together?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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