she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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