you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
