So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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