I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
