I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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