i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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