i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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