id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
