I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
