grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think my vagina is haunted
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
