all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
