mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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