put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize