I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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