dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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