omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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