a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
