garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
