dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
