whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
handjob tips. give me some.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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