Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize