He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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