We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
