i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
