I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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