South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
