On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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