i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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