My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
