She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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