Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
