So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
