She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
