"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I love you.
Bad choice
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