I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
