we're blogging at a bar
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize