How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize