So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
