To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
