ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize