i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
