If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again