WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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