I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
