ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
