I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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