but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
