I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
