I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
