she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We're too hungover to prance.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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