i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
