She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
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I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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