I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i believe in u and ur pee
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
