you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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