He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
