I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
BRING THE BAGELS
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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