my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
