those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
