i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
