franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
